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Little Stick Houses

by Michael McMaster

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1.
you take the wheel and you let it slip through you're fingers. eyelids almost touching all you see is blurry figures. and I'm stretching my throat to breathe right. poking holes in my ears to hear you tonight. they all hovered over our bodies like fly. trying to distinct if we are dead or alive. i remember the way you laughter at my smile. you would always cover yours in such denial. and you would grab my hand and squeeze it tight. waiting for the moment to be right. they all stared at us in fright. like a deer caught in the headlights. we were young and filled with dreams. running away form our responsibilities. we had no fears in this little world. only accepting fate in our own words. they cried as we were lifted away. our parents never dreamt of it this way. of putting there children in the grave. they blew kisses at our should as they flew away.
2.
The Wind 04:58
my doubts are fallen leaves and your the wind sweeping everything i feel i just wanted something real and I'm stumbling for words as you're cold, cold breeze its takes my breath leaving me so empty OH I know i can always find you no matter where i go but the satisfaction lingers to have you close but i won't and I' closed all the windows and I've locked all the doors i hid everything within but you still found you're way in OH so I'm running for the coast to feel you're brush through my hair again to find the clouds are gone and the waves ceased to stand OH
3.
4.
Me, Myself 04:00
I'm an apathetic compulsive liar. Pull my strings and I'll tell you your every desire. Act depress to draw attention. when you ask Iʼll deny your intention to comfort. + Done a lot of bad things in my time. More than most and I'll brag it's how I thrive. Never loved, nor have I tried. First came lust then my pride. + the drugs morphed everything i see. And my heart has drowned from all the drinking. no beliefs make no restrictions. Take the pain because I like how it feels. + It's the only life I know so it's the only life live. fake friends with cynical egos why even bother with empty souls well its better than actually living alone + so Iʼll rot away on this flat earth never found the end... explains why Iʼm still living despite what they say i canʼt believe that god wants anything to do with these injected sleeves+
5.
I've taken my time and I've taken your soul but it's not easy letting go. It started off wrong and we both saw it too so we scraped off the our skin like dry glue. And the cardboard cut outs of your favorite flower won't make it bloom. Clean the crayon from your nails and wipe the dust off your shoes. Grab your bag it's almost time to leave soon. Don't worry tomorrow will come through. As easy as it sounds I'm not hearing very well so our thoughts combined in a skull fractured hell. Racing thoughts run though traffic lights leading us blind for the rest of your life. So I take control of what I know but it's hard grasp something you've never seen. Well I guess you'll just haft to wait and see. To see you die before me every parents worst nightmare.And the cardboard cut out is lying on the ground I've watered it since no roots to be found. And the man I believe well i still can't see what more do you want from me. I closed my eyes and my wish came true it was me and my son hand in hand one on one just me and you. But he had to burry me too. in the cement block where we lived surrounded by a forrest of strangers you chose my family tonight i need my son more then my life
6.
don't you wish everything was okay. that all the worlds problems would happened another day. my sisters body lies in my arms. as she blows her last kiss to save. it missed my hand and sliced my chest. the biggest part of my heart hit the floor now she's dead. all that comes to mind are the wasted years. that i could've loved her more instead drove for tears. the last thing i said haunts my dreams. im surprised god lets me breathe. if i had only known she was slowly leaving. i could've made her feel the love im bleeding. please believe me my sweet little sister. my burning love for you makes my skin blister. and i know you cant tell all the time. but thats what big brothers do they hide what they feel inside, at least i do i prayed to god every day after you left. to take my life and swap it with you're last breath. you had such a pretty smile. mom and dad never told you but you were there favorite child. i cant understand why these things happen. it must be punishment for not being nostalgic. of the good times we shared. when we built blanket forts and hid under the stairs. please forgive me my sweet little sister. people will never know how much i miss her. i hope you're smiling down on me. because i cant stand the thought of you not believing me. oh…my sweet little sister.

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released December 9, 2012

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Michael McMaster Long Beach, California

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